Tag Archives: family

brother & sister

I have a little brother. Even though we aren’t technically Irish twins I pretend that we are. At exactly seventeen months apart, we experienced a lot at the same time growing up. Chicken pox was one such experience I remember vividly. I was probably around 4 when I caught it from someone in pre-k and I distinctly recall my mother plopping he and I into an Aveeno bath, hoping that he would catch the virus from me so she wouldn’t have to go through it twice. He caught it, we itched together and she was pleased.

We shared a room before our baby sister came along when I was 5 and he was 4. We had twin beds pushed against a wall of clouds, wallpaper that my grandfather put up for us. I had a red pencil lamp on my bedside table and he had a blue pencil lamp on his bedside table. The sheets were covered in clowns. We would smash our beds together to make one big one when we weren’t fighting.

I tried to hurt my baby brother once. My evil moment was right after he was born. I was a mommy’s girl until that day and when my father went to hold my brother I must have realized his existence. I didn’t like that baby brother was getting attention from this man I knew was important somewhere in my periphery and I stuck my fingers down baby brother’s throat. From that day on I paid my dad a lot more attention.

He once was on television. Around the time he was five, baby brother was playing baseball at daycare. He slid into third base (maybe home plate?) and a rusty nail lodged into his knee. Because my mom had started the first workplace daycare center in the state of Wisconsin (and I believe one of the first in the nation, if not the first) while pregnant with me, she was able to be by his side in minutes. The news showed my brother’s injury and my mom talked about how great it was to be able to work and be within a quarter of a mile of her children during their formative years. She was profiled in a Japanese magazine for her contribution to working mothers around this time as well. I was very excited to see the two of them on the big screen though a little jealous that I had not been the one to receive a rusty nail to the knee.

No. 18 Making your little brother look like an idiot #1000thanks The caption for this photo when I snapped it: No. 18 Making your little brother look like an idiot #1000thanks

My baby brother goes to Barnes and Noble to read books instead of buying them. He read every single Easy Rawlins novel in this way: seated in a comfortable leather chair for a few hours until his work or schooling called, remembering the page number he was on, and coming back the next day to finish up. Well, he used to do this until the Barnes and Noble near his apartment got rid of the leather chairs forcing him to the hard seats in the cafe. I am so pleased that we share a love of books even if I could not fathom reading my own inside a busy store.

He will arm-wrestle anyone at anytime and any place. He is hilarious, often without meaning to be. He loves the Green Bay Packers and the Milwaukee Brewers. He gets off work at 5am and occasionally goes to dive bars for a “nightcap” where his drinking buddies are third shift nurses. He gets his hair cut once a week. You will never catch him in a pair of dirty sneakers.

He is like our mother was: refined, tough, sharp, classy, bright, quiet and a bit closed off but tender and caring all the same.

My baby brother overthinking. Bless his heart.

We argue constantly. We are competitive. We have spelling bees. We use humongous words when we’re together to one-up each other. Sometimes our sentences lack sense and we laugh at our efforts. He texts in full sentences, always ending them with at least two dots because they “add emphasis to the meanings.(.)”

#familyLate night #taqueria run... @urbancasita and her brother

All that to say that he came to town with his gal this weekend and we had a great time.

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Sunday #6

sunday #6

joey's 27th & dad's sendoff to india
joey's 27th & dad's sendoff to india
joey's 27th & dad's sendoff to india
joey's 27th & dad's sendoff to india
joey's 27th & dad's sendoff to india
joey's 27th & dad's sendoff to india
joey's 27th & dad's sendoff to india
joey's 27th & dad's sendoff to india
joey's 27th & dad's sendoff to india
joey's 27th & dad's sendoff to india

My baby brother and his gal came down to Chicago from Milwaukee on Saturday to celebrate his 27th birthday. The rain thwarted our grilling plans, so we munched on stovetop burgers and oven-baked hot and jerk wings. Cupcakes came from Alliance Bakery down the street, and Joey received a Capitalist Pig–my favorite gift to give these days– from me and an heirloom copy of Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations from Papo that our parents used to source their wedding vows from almost thirty years ago. We went around in a circle with the book, each of us closing our eyes and opening to a random page. Joey’s was fitting for the only son and the birthday boy: “Enter upon your inheritance, accept your responsibilities.”

When he was little, Joey would sit at our kitchen table and open the dictionary to random words, copying them into a notebook with their definitions. He would then taunt me around the house: “Spell dysfunctional.” “Use amalgam in a sentence.” “What does termagant mean?” Papo gave him this book with the hopes that he will continue to do the same, only with quotes instead of words this time.

It wasn’t just one occasion that we were celebrating: that evening our father flew to Frankfurt where he stayed one night, and then went on to India (he is probably on a plane as I type this) where he will be a guest of the State Department for three weeks, traveling around the country and giving lectures and talks on aquaponics and urban farming. The protective daughter in me is a terrified but proud, ecstatic but wary, wanting constant contact but recognizing that as he let me move about the world at 17, I have to do the same for him at 65.

joey's 27th & dad's sendoff to india
joey's 27th & dad's sendoff to india

NOTE: My Sunday post, in which I (try to) post photos that sum up the week for me, is on a Monday this week and today is Memorial Day. I have all of our service members in my thoughts and prayers today but special recognition goes out to our LGBT members, past and present, of the armed forces. President Obama may have repealed Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, but those changes have not been fully implemented and countless men and women continue to serve in silence. I hope that Memorial Day 2012 brings something different.

Here’s to a safe, happy and fun-filled day of remembrance for all of us! Happy Memorial Day.

sunday #5

Sisters. Dyke March Fundraiser. Chicago, Illinois.

Did you read today’s Op-Ed about boycotting straight weddings? You should. If I had thought about it in the way presented,The Mister and I may have approached things differently.

How utterly absurd to celebrate an institution that I am banned from in most of the country. It puzzles me, truth be told, that wedding invitations deluge me. Does a vegan frequent summer pig roasts? Do devout evangelicals crash couple-swapping parties? Do undocumented immigrants march in Minuteman rallies?

Rich Benjamin, Not Going to the Chapel

Have a great Sunday night.

I call on all gay people to join my boycott of straight weddings this summer, regardless of where their straight loved ones stand. Yes, our boycott may bruise some feelings. But then again, our inability to participate in this institution is hurtful and bruising, too.

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